Monday, June 9, 2003. 4:29PM

This, as they say is it. Today marks the anniversary of log. A whole year of log. I have been logging for a year now. Wow. A moment ago I took a moment to read the original log from June 9 last year (what a stupid date to start log). After a brief expression of my inner girliness (which I feel a lot less now - I think I am gradually becoming a balanced human being), I reminisced about a day, which, thanks to log's detailed description, I remember distinctly (of course, that's no good to you, as you weren't there). Who would have thought that was a year ago. Man, I really should go for my drivers license.

We've seen a fair bit in this last twelve months. I had a birthday. There's been a war. A few random terrorist type strikes. Three Annual Pulp Fiction Party-o-Ramas. I've been involved in two serious relationships (one of which ended in the log post generating the most feedback of all - and even some hate mail - 12/10/02, a log that, due to a cock up in my linking and the server going down, was displayed as the main log for about a month), and had countless fantasies about women off all shapes and sizes (well, not fat women or women over 6 foot tall). I've been to the dentist twice. We've moved from www.zeedarteretz.8m.com, to www.zeedarteretz.bourgeoisonline.com, to zeedarteretz.cooledsta.l33t.ca, to zeedarteretz.cooledsta.com, to just plain www.zeedarteretz.com (technically, we're currently at www.zeedarteretz.greatcookery.com). I've reviewed a lot of films, but still only the smallest part of the films I've seen. I written a fuck of a lot of log, but still less than one log a week. I've passed two sets of exams. I've seen a lot more of some people, and a lot less of others. We had a few golden weeks with forums. We've had more than 1,000 hits (not bad, since I know for a fact that the most frequent log hitters (really the only thing that ever changes on this site) don't visit the main page, and therefore don't count), the vast majority of hits coming from the GMT+10:00 timezone (Australia, and everything vertically up - Indonesia, Vladivostok), but with a small amount (around 2%) coming from -5 and -6, Central America and Eastern America. Oddly, about 5% of our hits come from -2, which is basically ocean, so a few islands and part of Greenland. In fact, really rather a lot has happened in the last year. I originally started this site as a replacement for my old People's Champion website (www.thepeopleschampion.s5.com), which no longer seemed relevant given that the people's champion was no longer. That site was, in many ways, a lot better than this site. It's main content was what I understand is referred to on the Internet as 'blogs' - that is, random people's views on one contemporary issue or another. Basically, that is what this site is also, except the majority of content is not really random views but more a diary of my life, which, in itself is often borderline fiction. Well, not entirely fiction, of course, but I do exaggerate a tale or two from time to time, and I often do leave out things, and add things in to make myself look cool. I don't write it frequently enough to make it a truly honest account. Also, I basically write it for entertainment (although not really humor any more). I rarely comment on anything, and I steer clear of talking about my feelings or emotions as much as possible (because that would make me a woman). The thing that frustrates me most about log is that too many people read it - you see, I've gone to some length to publicise this site, at least among people I know, so I can't really ever comment on anyone in a negative way, because, y'know, even though I think he's gay, and I told a bunch of guys in Greenland so, it doesn't mean that I want to loose him as a friend. Overly too often I'll be telling someone an anecdote from log and they'll know the ending, or they'll say to me "Dude, I don't think you should be so hard on the Aborigines." Anyway, I don't know. I think in all likelihood, nothing is ever going to change, but maybe, if I can be bothered, I'll do something cool with the site. I think it needs some colour for starters - I do like black and gray, but it doesn't look very...er...hip. Digital cameras seem to be in abundance these days, and I have a pair of black pajamas, so maybe I'll do some more Pornographic Ninja (some guy I know seems to be running a small campaign to instill the Ninja into popular culture). You may have noticed that my foray into Animated ninja has been up for a week or two now, but I think the server limits the size of files you can download, and it's too big. I've been messing around with different formats, but I can't seem to get it smaller, and like fuck I'm compressing a flash movie for download (how a 1.7mg flash becomes a 100mg Avi I'll never know).

As for this week, well, I can't remember. I can never remember. I only have to remember since last Thursday, which I guess means last Friday. Although, I did go to the movies on Thursday night, as I do on the first Thursday of every month, and I saw some films doubtless you cretins will not have herd of, but I have reviewed. On Friday I was doing nothing, and then Allan called me and told me to come to the Blues Brothers, which I agreed to. Then, after thinking "I know what this night needs - a girl", I headed off to Carlton. I wandered around for a few minutes, looking for one. Not finding her, I stood outside her house for a few minutes, but not having the balls to face her mother in the event that she wasn't home (it was like 10:00 at night), I mournfully cast aside my hat and headed back to Lygon Street. Halfway there, who should be walking down the road, looking all alone and in need of the timely appearance of some kind of trench coat clad teenage super-hero but the very young lady I was hoping to find. Found, I took her to coffee (and made no end of puns like "I like my coffee like I like my men - short and black", a joke that has spawned a whole genre of films and works equally well with 'white', 'tall', 'sweet', 'hot', and 'with milk in'), and, after a while, set off to the Westgath (as an interesting side note, the Westgath, I think is some kind of romantic Mecca for me. Almost every success I've had in that area, and certainly every serious relationship, can be integrally linked in some way to the old music hall). We arrived a little late (I didn't care - I've seen the thing a million times before), and sat down in the only empty seats we could find. We were soon joined by my good friend Will, and an accomplice of Allan. The night climaxed as it usually did with me walking through Royal Park at 4:00AM. I had the house to myself on Saturday night, meaning that the dog needed to be fed, by me, at around 7:00 in the morning. Rather than have such an insignificant amount of sleep, I instead chose to write e-mail and watch Rage for a few hours, and sleep all day.

Sunday I had a lunch in honor of a friends birthday, and it was all going well until someone else's little brother rocked up, and somehow kept egging me on, and making me make a fool out of myself. Oh, it was terrible. Today I tried to study. HA!

Happy birthday log. I hope some of you are getting ready to take me out for drinks on my actual birthday in a little over a week - like hell I'm spending it with my sister.