Zeedar Teretz Reports The News.

Monday, November 21, 2005. 3:00PM

This week has been an interesting week in the log running feud between Australian drug users and the Indonesian police. It's also been an interesting week for one of Zeedar Teretz's favorite causes - All Australian Hotties.

About a month ago Australian Model Michelle Leslie (also known as Michelle Lee) was picked up by the Indonesian police in Bali outside some party with a couple of pink ecstasy pills in her bag. The assumption, presumably, was that if she had two pills outside the party, then she probably had earlier had thirty pills in her bag and had had a pretty decent night as an international drug dealer.

Kids with drugs being in jail in Bali has been been a pretty big deal in Australia this year. We had a lot of controversy in May when the much less attractive Schapelle Corby went to trail for bringing a bag of pot through customs, and soon after that a whole bunch of kids (known as the "Bali Nine") got booked with packets of smack strapped under their shirts. Just recently, the government Singapore has resolutely refused not to execute Melbourne boy Van Nguyen for bringing in a bit of heroin to feed his starving twin brother.

Schapelle Corby got twenty years, which went down to fifteen on appeal.

The Bali nine haven't been sentenced yet, but by all account they're going to get death or not far from it.

Van Nguyen is getting the noose on December second.

Michelle Leslie, however, is on her way home. She got convicted, mind you, but sentenced to thirty days (twenty nine already served), and promptly deported, not to Australia as is the custom, mind you, but to Singapore, where a high five with Van Nguyen is no doubt in order.

Not that Zeedar Teretz minds. Schapelle Corby, frankly, is trash. Van Nguyen and half of the Bali nine are just Vietnamese drug dealers, and it's not like we don't have enough of them. Our Michelle, however, is a hottie. She's contributing to the gene pool. She should be kept in circulation.

I've been waiting for the duration of this trial for her naked pictures to surface, but they never really have. Some fairly saucy ones have cropped up here and there on the news services, but never the smut I was waiting for. I'm sure she'll be the centerfold in one of the nations skin magazines in the next few months, but I didn't want to wait that long (or spend the $10), so I took matters into my own hands.

I hope you enjoy the following collection of pictures.