# Zeedar Teretz Practices What He Preaches

## Part 1: Some Speculations

Long time readers of this site may recall this article, where I outline a system for gambling, which I claim is mathematically infallible. Long time readers may also have asked themselves why I am not a multi-millionaire.

The system, in short, involves playing black jack at casinos (where the house edge is usually less than half of one percent). You pick an arbitrary amount as your base figure, say \$10. Every time you loose a bet, you double it on your next hand, and every time you win a bet you return to the base amount on your next hand. Loosing a bet of \$10, therefore, means that on the next hand you will bet \$20. If you should loose that hand, then at the next one you will be \$40 and so on. Should you win the \$40 hand; the money returned to you will be \$80, or your losses on the \$40 bet, the \$20 bet, the \$10 bet, and another \$10 which is profit. Assuming that you have an infinite reserve to keep doubling your bets with, and that eventually you are going to win one hand, then eventually you will win, recovering all your losses to date, and making a profit equal to your base amount.

At a real casino, however, this is impractical. It is not unusual to loose four or five hands of black jack in a row, which would see your bets elevate from singles figures to several hundred dollars. Because tables have minimum and maximum bets that are not all that far apart, you'd have to keep changing tables. Also, there's going to be a person watching you play, and they're going to catch onto your system pretty quick. I doubt they'd really stop you from playing it, because it encourages you to bet big, which encourages you to loose big, but still, they'd know about it and they could probably ask you to leave if you were taking too much money off them. Also, it requires a bit of a hefty start up fund. How hefty is up to you, but the larger amount of money you have, the more bets you can afford to loose, and the less likely you will loose it all.

This was why I toyed with the idea of doing this on the internet. Initially, my idea was to construct a robot that would interact simultaneously with many different online casinos. The robot would know when it had lost or won, and designate each of the casinos to a specific wager amount and cycle through them. Because I could run the robot 24 hours a day, it wouldn't matter how small my initial bet was. We could play for change, and I'd still make a killing as I'd be playing thousands of hands an hour. I even went so far as to build a simulator that would give me the highs and lows of any particular pattern of betting over a trillion or so cycles. Without fail I made more money than exists on the earth, however, I went quite deeply in debt on occasion. The highest amount of consecutive losses it produced was 21, at which point over ten million dollars would have been on the table. I discarded this idea for three reasons. Firstly, many online casinos forbid the use of robots, and also, one likes to have a little control over the process. I want to be there to make the call to walk away as my debts start to mount up, rather than have some computer program run me up a gambling debt the size of a small nation's economy. Finally, there was the issue of the start up funds. This idea would make an excellent pyramid scheme, I think. The returns can be quite dramatic, but depend entirely on having access to a large cash reserve. If enough people were to band together and come up with the afore mentioned ten million dollars, or hell, even a few hundred thousand would be okay, we could clean out the whole gambling industry. You buy entry with say, \$10,000, which is added to the communal fund, which you are allowed to gamble with. It wouldn't be completely safe of course, in fact, I'm pretty sure it'd go tits up eventually, but still, we'd live the high life for a while on the profits.

Anyway, what I was getting up as the number on reason why I'm not a millionaire yet is the start up fund. Sure, I have the few thousand dollars you'd need to get started with relative safety, but that money wasn't free. I had to earn it, and I'm a little reluctant to piss it away in some casino for the pleasure of a few games of cards. That was, of course, until the other day, when I cheque arrived in the mail. My great aunt had died, leaving me a thousand dollars. My great aunt was a strict Baptist, who used to take cold showers to save on the gas bill. I'm sure she'd be proud to see that I had invested her money wisely.

## Part 2: Practicing the Practice.

Many online casinos will allow you to play their games using the same gaming software, but fake money, and this is exactly what I did. My first few practice session led rapidly and invariably to balance of zero. This was because there is an upper limit of \$500 at the casino I was playing at (this is the highest limit I could find on any reputable online casino), and with the \$10 bets I was making, that saw me unable to place bets after a mere five losses. Because of this, I lowered my base bet to \$7, which would allow me to squeeze seven games in under the limit, and began to play. I was using a black jack strategy card, which is a table, allegedly calculated in a massive computer simulation, which gives you the mathematically best action to take for each set of cards dealt.

I played three practice sessions, which, all in all took two hours and eight minutes from my life. During that time I played 257 hands of black jack, which made me a total profit of \$1,558 fake dollars. The breakdown was basically statistical.

I played 124 games for \$7, 58 for \$14, 33 for \$28, 19 for \$56, 12 for \$112, 7 for \$224, 3 for \$448, and 1 for \$896. Although the \$896 bet was over the limit for a single hand, I did it by playing two hands simultaneously. If both the hands won I considered it a win, if both lost, it was a loss. In the event that one hand one while the other lost, I deemed it a push and played the two hands again. It was conformation to me that the scheme was a very effective way to make money. That it actually worked in a casino. It also made it very clear to me the risks involved. It was nerve racking enough playing for \$448 of fake money; I couldn't imagine how it would feel with my own money on the table. If I were to go ahead with this, I really would have to accept the idea of loosing. Also, I would probably need to put \$1000 of my own on the table, as one hand had gone all the way to \$896 (which implies that I had already lost \$889).

I must have gone to that deposit screen six or seven times and started to type in information, only to chicken out and cancel it. I checked my bank balance every day, wondering just how much I could deal with a good portion of it not being there. I'd seen several articles in the days proceeding about how psychopaths make the best business people because they have the balls to put money on the line, and I kept wondering if that was me. I got out my credit card and stared into the hologram, soul searching, for twenty minutes. The last thought that flashed through my mind was that old saying, "those who can, do, those who can't, teach." I guess this is my lesson to you. I can. I sucked it up and pressed submit.